Today Stephanie and I took a walk to Penia Sine – a village about 2 miles away from Sapuk. Her host sister from Moch had spent the night so we were taking her home and at the same time going to Wichi, a waterfall by her house. The waterfall was behind some property near the edge of some jungle and was an absolutely gorgeous spot. The water was fresh, so it was cold (a welcome change from the heat of the Pacific). We arrived with Steph’s host sisters, but within a matter of minutes, we were flooded by groups of children from the village who LOVED my camera more than they loved actually swimming. Every few seconds I would hear the Chuukese “TSSS!” to get my attention so I could take another photo of yet another pose or the jumping off of a rock into the water below the falls. We swam for a while and then walked up to Steph’s host house where we sat outside, ate rice and mackerel off of a communal plate and talked (I mostly listened since I had a hard time understanding anything). We walked back to Sapuk with Kim, a Chuukese-American woman, and her friend to go to Joen’s house for coconuts, but he met us at the corner right before Xavier and handed them to us instead. Kim said it’s not unusual for men to be intimidated, or shy around, a group of girls especially when there are white girls.

I kept getting compliments on being attractive, mostly due to my skin. The Chuukese will say “you’re so pale” or “light-skinned” and it amounts to a standard of beauty. We have such a different conception of how skin should look in the West and it’s interesting that Westerns tan primarily to reduce the appearance of bodily faults, whereas Chuukese (and Micronesians in general) value whiteness because its linked to power and prestige. I’ve talked about this before, but it still fascinates me. It’s strange to be labeled exotic when you’ve spent your entire life in the category of ordinary.

School is going well. The kids are more used to me, which is good. It’s easy to get them to like you though, it’s not so easy to get them to respect you. I think I might have a way to go in that department – I’m so bad with discipline. Part of me feels like if I punish them, they’ll shut down and become disengaged. I’ve been trying to play games and use projects to stimulate their interest in class, but I’m not sure it works. I’m not even interested in letter grades, I want to hear more about how they think, or want to think. Sometimes I feel like I’m trying to turn this into a college experience rather than a high school one for these kids, but I find myself so uninterested in memorization and rote learning. I never found that stuff important or long-lasting. At the same time, I feel like I’m trying to change something that can’t necessarily be changed.

I love living with everyone here, but I’m also realizing I need some time for myself. I woke up early this morning to do yoga on the roof, which provides a spectacular view of Xavier and of the ocean just beyond it. It was such a peaceful experience, but overwhelmingly hot. I’m going to try and do it after school just before dinner to wake my body up a little. I always need some energy at night, and I also need time to think things through for myself and be quiet in my own head.

After yoga I was sitting in my office doing some work when a white man whom I didn’t recognize came to the door. This is always cause for interest, but I realized quickly that he was a tourist, from Texas of all places. He wanted me to show him to the roof since Xavier is apparently famous for the view. There was a group of them outside waiting to be shown wear to go and I noticed immediately that the women were wearing tank tops and short shorts which is not only culturally inappropriate and disrespectful, it can be dangerous. I didn’t mention anything only because I’m positive they were made aware of this, but like most American tourists, believe that the rules don’t apply to them. They were on Chuuk for the scuba/snorkeling experience, not necessarily to actually see Chuuk which is made apparent by the fact that all white people who come here stay either at Truk Stop or Blue Lagoon – hotel/resorts on the edge of the island. This is kind of sad to me since these people don’t actually get the Chuuk experience. No Chuukese person lives in a hotel; far from it. I personally think they would get more out of staying with a host family and seeing how Chuuk actually exists, but this isn’t a lucrative business. Instead they bypass all the uncivilized “unpleasantness” and focus only on the version most appealing to them – the one that specifically caters to Western visitors who aren’t actually interested in visiting.